Presently, I do not hate most of my compulsions and obsessions, as weird as that sounds. I also felt this close attachment to my eating disorder. Neither are good things, but it just is something you feel like is there for you.
But, the two things I feel are out of control are: The Chronic Skin Picking and the disgust I face when I hear water sounds.
The skin picking is something that calms me and actually makes me feel better when under stress, but it is getting beyond controllable. I pick at my scalp daily, causing bleeding and scabbing. It is painful to wash or dye my hair, yet I continue. I understand that my compulsions are just an avoidance mechanism from facing my anxiety, but it does make me feel better and I feel like I have bigger issues that need addressing and solutions before this. I just wish I could cut back on it.
The water sounds wouldn't be much of a problem if it weren't for damn commercials with people drinking, pouring liquids, sucking yogurt out of a container, etc. These sounds bother me to my core, for no particular reason. I feel my skin crawl and my body tremble when these sound present themselves. I try to avoid them, I try to mute the television when these commercials come out, but it is usually too late. I wish I knew why these bothered me so badly.
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