My biggest failure in life

is my fear of failure, as ironic as that is.

I am the type of person who is afraid to fail, terrified to be less than perfect. While a lot of people with this fear will fight tooth to nail to prevent any failure to happen on their part, I am so afraid to fail, I am afraid to start things, or to continue.

I stopped playing two instruments because I was terrified of playing in front of ANYONE, because god-forbid I wouldn't be perfect. God-forbid I would human, capable of mistakes.
I stopped photography because I wasn't as good at figuring out the aperture or the f-stop, even though I was relatively good at guessing them and I have the ability to learn.
I stopped modeling because I was afraid I would fail at it because I am 40 pounds heavier.

I fear the fact that I will probably never start, or quit, dancing. I have been dying to learn to dance for a while, but am unable til I heal fully from my surgery, which will be at least 9 more months. I know myself too well and my heart breaks at the thought that I will let my life pass me by, I will not enjoy myself, and I will not experience so many things because I am afraid I will not be the best.

I am amazed that I have gone this far in college and intend to continue, especially since my GPA is far from perfect.

I need to find a way to work on this. I know what my first step to all of my problems is, are I am in the process of finding a therapist. I cannot continue this way, I refuse to live this pathetic life I live any longer.